Who's in your inner circle?

Everyone knows I love a good quote; here's one of my newest favorites…

"You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with," a quote attributed most often to motivational speaker Jim Rohn. There's also the "show me your friends, and I'll show you your future" derivative.

I've been using this quote a lot in my leadership training lately, as it speaks to the people we surround ourselves with and how they influence our work.   

For example, did you know the people we spend the most time with can influence and impact our thoughts, values, beliefs, actions, etc., up to 20%? And what's even more interesting is that it doesn't stop there. It goes beyond to the people those people spend the most time with, which can influence us by another 10%. 

This means that up to a third of our thoughts, actions, beliefs, values, etc., are influenced by people we know and may not know.

Let me ask you: Doesn't it make sense to curate or carefully plan who we spend time with, especially as we consider our goals? 

I mean, it's fun to share your dreams and vision with others, to have them cheer you along the way or offer you different types of support.

It can also be daunting if those around you don't agree with your vision or don't see it as valuable. 

Our time is valuable, and so is our energy, especially as both time and energy impact our work and our ability to do it well.

So, here are a few questions to get you going:

  • When you think about the people you most frequently talk with, ask advice from, or spend your free time with, do you respect and admire them?

  • Have they gone where you want to go? Are they inspiring, are they emotionally evolved, and do they have the attributes you aspire to in life?

If you're like me, the answer might be "yes" for some, while others may not quite hit the mark.

So what can we do? How do we surround ourselves with people who will lift us up and cheer us on?

Stay tuned for next week, when I will share a few ideas and strategies for developing your community.

Deidre Harris